The other day I asked one of my friends out for coffee and she refused, saying that she had to clean-up her post break-up mess. Now I knew, how hard that actually was and having grown up on a steady diet of chick-flicks and lits, I presumed that it would be pretty traumatising for her and it might actually involve a lot of “burning stuff or shredding them to pieces” .Being the good friend that I was, I showed up at her place, a bag of ‘comfort food’ in hand.
Imagine my surprise, when a pretty normal drawing room greeted me.. There were no smell of burning or any shreddings. The only thing that was there, was her laptop on the table. When I asked her about it, she told me, “You need to grow up. and stop watching those chick-Flicks. real life s more challenging than burning stuff up” and it was then that I was enlightened about the NEW AGE BREAK-UP CLEANSING.
Apparently more important than getting the person out of the life, was to get him out of your social network. So we spent a greater part of the day screening some 1106 photos on her Facebook account, categorically removing any picture of “them” together. ( I swear my eyes were all glossy and watery; not for the sad end to the relation but from staring at the screen for so long). Then I watched her remove all the photos from Instagram. (her degree of dedication and order made me realise how great a CEO she ll actually make!) And then finally she removed him from her friend-list. Same thing was repeated in her Twitter account. (no offence, but I secretly thanked God that Orkut had shut down) . Then she marked his address as Spam in her home , work1, and work2 email ids. 
Guess she wanted to avoid something like this. 😛
And I thought that we were actually done. But sadly this was not it. Next she had to formally inform everyone in their common circle that they were over. This too was done in an efficient and orderly fashion. I objected to this saying “let there be some dignity left in your relationship” because the whole process felt a bit extremist and bizzare to me. But I was assured that this was done in a mutually consented way and that it was done to avoid any “sticky situations” in the future.
“like what?”
“like imagine the pain you would feel when you guys show up at the same event without being fore-warned. This way the hosts will know that you are not together and will inform you beforehand that the other half is invited, so you ll have a freedom of choice . Or someone accidentally liked an old picture of you guys so it showed up on your notifications,you’ll be caught off guard! totally”
This was a pretty logical explanation I guess but somehow me n logic (or for that matter practicality) never did work. For me it was and always will be the “burning his stuff or shredding them to pieces”
P.S- I miss the time when a break-up meant ice-cream and girl-friends. we are growing up..
Diary of the Twenties 