Letter from the Past to the Present

To

My Ex-Boyfriend

Address Unknown

Dated – 2 Years after we broke up

Hey honey,

I hope I can still call you honey. I don’t know now if I have the right or if it’ll create complications in your new life. But trust me this is the only way I can actually address you.  I am not writing this letter to curse you or to wish you ill-luck. Had those been the reason I would have gone like so many others to the numerous ‘Miracle-Men” who are found in abundance in this god-forsaken country. But no, I m not here for all that.  I m not even here to extend an olive-branch or as your current partner might believe, to seduce you or to lure you over to my side. I m writing this to you because of one simple reason. I miss you. More than missing you as my boyfriend, I miss my best friend

All it took from you was the one single sentence, “it’s over” and it seemed that my whole world came crumbling apart. I won’t deny that we both had seen it coming in the long run but you know how much of an optimist I really am and somewhere down the line, I chose to believe that even though this fragment of the relationship was over, the friendship will remain. When we broke up, it seemed that I had hit rock-bottom emotionally, but when we ceased to be friends, that’s when I knew there was something beyond the so-called rock bottom. But that was not the worst part. The worst part was that you were not there to fish me out of that abyss. In the past whenever I fell, you were there to pick me up. I was so totally dependent on you that I realized at that point of time, that had my friends not been so understanding, I would have probably become suicidal. My gals picked me up or rather what parts were left of me and gradually tried re-introducing me to life. But as hard as they tried nothing could fill the void, the void that was left by you. Gradually I started dating again. But those are just dates. I wasn’t friends with them before, so the void still remains I guess and it will remain there I guess, for somewhere deep down, I lack the courage to date a friend again.

These past few years have been hard, but I knew what I had bargained for. I bear no grudges. I just bear the ramblings. Was it really that easy for you to just forget what we had? Or do you too have a large void in your life? Does a random stranger on the street make your heart skip a beat too? Does a certain song bring back a fond memory? Did moving away from where I was geographically make the transit easy for you? Above all, do you miss your best friend too? The reason I mustered up the courage to write this to you today is because today I know I can survive. Yes I have rejoined social networks and yes I have stopped asking people about you. But as I sign off I just want you to know that I miss you even today and I care for my best friend even today. So I implore you to grant me one last request. Let’s be friends again, if not best friends.

With best regards and warm memories,

Your Girl friend of the past

Growing Up

How do you know that you have grown up? That is probably a question the answer to which eludes us. Most of us we don’t even know if we have grown up. But at times, you do feel that you are no longer a child. So when does that happen? Do we know that we have grown-up when we stop believing in Santa Claus? Or is it when we realise that Cinderella was just another love-story? When we realise that love at first sight may not necessarily have a happy ending? Or is it when we realise that there’s more to a person than just his looks? Is it when we have to find time for our parents? Or is it when our relationships actually need work? Is it when we stop trusting in people? Is it when we reminisce a lot about the past but hesitate to pick up the phone and call our friend?  Or is it when life starts being governed by the society? Is it when all we look for is not money or materials, but just a person to go home to at the end of the day?

The truth is all these are things are a part and parcel of growing up. These we can still alter, with a little extra effort. I feel that we actually grow up when we realise that good-byes are inevitable.  When we learn to accept that all good things will come to an end, that‘s when we actually grow up. We are not saddened by the thought of an ending because we know that the ending is not really an ending but another beginning. This is however solely my opinion.

To have a varied take on the subject, I asked a few of my friends, when they feel grown-up and we came up with a few collective thoughts: some deeply reflective, some just light-hearted philandering.

1. We have grown up when we start dreading the future.
2. When we start saying goodbye to alcohol and drugs
3. When we realise that we are happy with our life
4. When we say goodbye without a tear
5. When we try to find joy in little things of life

And finally when we start thinking with our mind and not our hearts… WE Have Grown Up.

P.S- If you have said goodbye to bubblewrap and “Tom n Jerry”, that doesn’t mean you have grown up, it just means that you have become a machine.

Also if your newsfeed is clogged with photos of all your friends getting married or having kids, it means you have really grown old. 😛